It’s a little after three in the morning. Once again, I can’t sleep. I’ve tried for the last few hours; I can’t do it; I’m not going to fight it.
Since I’m unable to sleep, I decided I would try to write. Its been nearly two weeks since I wrote anything. As long as my sleep deprived mind cooperates and I can continue to think somewhat coherently, I’ll give it my best shot. If you look at the graphic, you’ll see that two of the effects of sleep deprivation are cognitive impairment and memory lapses or loss. In my case, the experts got it right this time. I am suffering from both.
I haven’t written in a while because I am having some health problems. The sleep deprivation, though potentially serious, is actually only a minor problem for me now. I hope to start writing about the health problems later on. This morning is not a good time for it, though.
This is not the first time I’ve had problems sleeping. For years now, it has been rare for me to sleep through an entire night. Usually, I would sleep a few hours, wake up for a bit, then sleep a few more hours. Sometimes, I would wake up more than once. Despite the pattern of broken sleep, I managed every day pretty much as if I’d had a good nights sleep the night before. Most of the time, it just wasn’t a big deal.
The biggest difference now is that I’m having trouble going to sleep at all. Since this has been going on for about a week now, I’ve already gone a couple of days with just sporadic naps as my only sleep. When I was a young man, I could occasionally get by like this. Now that I am older, it just doesn’t work. I need sleep. I may not need a lot, but I need more than I am presently getting.
I’m surprised. When I started writing this, I doubted I would finish it. I didn’t think my mind would function long enough to finish. I hate that I don’t have a smooth transition and a nice little wrap up to finish with, but when you haven’t slept and your brain decides to stop, it’s time to finish.